i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
