I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
