So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dick very happy bro
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
