I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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