just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
