whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
