You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
