I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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