You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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