I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
