there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
