Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
