I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
