you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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