super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
