6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
