Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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