Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
