with your own penis?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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