Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
