Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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