I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
