If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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