A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
