Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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