No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
