funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Pants are for mortals
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
