Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
