when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
