You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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