I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
