You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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