You're my little dorito
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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