This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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