Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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