Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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