I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
