Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
