She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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