Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
