oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
