dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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