This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
