I looked at my own cervix.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
