i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
