Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
