is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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