speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
