Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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