ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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