cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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